Everything I am, I am for you...

If we live forever...
Time would never change how we love...
No river could run between us...
You're never alone, I'm yours til I'm gone...
The beat of my heart is for you...
This page is the beginning..
Our book is never ending...
I just want to love you..
with every beat of my heart...
Words can't explain how I feel..
This is more than love...
Everything I am, I am for you...

Lost without you..

 My favorite place to be.. :)

 The full moon...

Aw... We made a shake and had to taste it old school style...We are cute like that.. ;)

This last trip out to see my honey was Amazing as always... I stayed 11 whole days and we had so much fun.. I loved helping him hang up pictures and clean and organize and do laundry.. it makes me feel so good to do these things for him.. I stress out being so far away from him and not being able to do these things for him on a regular basis..  I'm old school that way.. :) I'm a nurturer.. Love taking care of my Ping in any way I can..  We went out to eat and snoodled (I have this new snoodle where I'm all up on him and even wrap my arm up around his head and hold the back of his head) He loves it!!  NOT! hee hee... but he lets me do it for a min.. :) and watched movies.. Its so amazing how our relationship has evolved over time..  we laughed about "how we used to be" and how we are now so comfortable and at ease with who and how we are..  He is truly my best friend, the one I share everything with.. I feel so at ease with him and for the first time ever I feel complete.. So content.. and that is what makes leaving so hard! I never want that feeling to end.. The feeling I have when I come back home is just so lost and empty..  I feel like a stranger in my own house..  He is my home.. my heart is with him so without him I feel so sad and lost..  I cried the night before I left, I cried as he got ready for work, I cried as I cleaned the house for the last time, I cried as I left little love notes around his house for him to find, and I cried all the way to the airport.. I'm tearing up writing this now..  I'm such a baby I know..  I just love him so much..  I went to the grocery store a couple days after I got home and I just kept picturing me and my routine in Georgia.. Picturing the store there and wishing I was back there..  Anyways, I'm trying to get back into the swing of things here but have such a longing to get back there.. I miss him all day, everyday... and especially at nights.. :(

B&P...

B&P=♥

My Angel

All the things Ive done before this
They dont mean a thing
And all the words spoken before this
Wont be said again
Suddenly so much of me has
No need 2 pretend
Cause theres nothin like the truth
To bring her back to u
And everyone Ive met before this
Aint seen me with u

Angel My Angel Angel
Angel My Angel Angel

Youre the only one who knows what I go through
Sometime u feel it even more than me
And I dont know how I ever got by without u
Theres nothing like the truth
And Ive got nothin left 2 lose
And every night I thank the universe that I found u

Angel My Angel Angels
Angel My Angel Angels

And I dont have 2 wonder
What the world thinks about me
I know youre in my corner
Youre always surrounding me
With your love

And if we all explode
See we would never know
But I just hope the pieces of my soul
Reach out 2 u 2 find my angel

My Angels My Angels
Angels My Angels
My Angels

(I heard this song today and it made me cry..)
This is for you my Ping..
Love you

All the colors fade when you're gone...

Will you be mine?...

These flowers made it packed in his suitcase on the plane... :)

The only thing I wanted! A LOVE letter... (He did good! It made me cry) :)

Loves... :)

I couldn't have asked for a better Valentines day then the one I had this year...  I got to see his face and be surrounded by his love and in his arms...  There is nothing I wanted more.. I even got a Love letter from him that was so sweet and so us..  His words mean everything to me and I have read it everyday since he left..
This trip was a different one in the fact that we had my kids and went to work and actually lived a "normal everyday life" It was nice.. We got to see each other in a different light and I loved every min. He was so sweet with my kids.. Playing with them, getting on their level and he even snuggled them in bed with me while we watched tv..  All that was missing was his kids..  I hope to one day have the chance to be around his kids like that.. 
There was a moment on his last night here where he was working in the kitchen at the table and I was cleaning and doing laundry, kids playing upstairs..  and the feeling that came over me was so peaceful and so content and so incredibly happy! I have longed for that feeling for SOOO long and I can't tell you how good it felt..  He was listening to music while he worked and at one point when I walked back he grabbed me and starting dancing with me... it was so romantical and so special...We laughed and kissed and then went right back to work... It is a moment I will never forget.. All that I kept thinking was... IS THIS WHAT IT'S LIKE??  Is this what a happy couple and good relationship feels like??  I never want the feeling to end... It's amazing to be so completely comfortable with another person that anything they do even if its annoying or whatever it may be you still LOVE and adore them so much. I have such a desire to make him happy and be all that he needs..  He is such a good man with such a tender heart.. He knows how to communicate with me and knows what I need to hear at certain times and takes the time to really listen and understand what I'm feeling..  I have never had that and it means more then he will ever know...

He is gone now and oh how I miss him!!  I'm at ease in his arms... and now most of my days are spent alone and it's so hard on me having a little piece of heaven and then having it be gone... Home is where your heart is and my heart is with him... so I feel like a part of me is missing and the memories around every corner are haunting at times.. His cup he had on the night stand is still there, the towel he left on the bathroom floor,  the spot on the table is still cleared where he worked, I'm still sleeping in our sheets, the flowers he brought me are now dead in their vase and i can't bring myself to throw them away...  I love him so much...

All the colors seem to fade when you're gone...

Georgia on my mind...

See that smile on face?..

It's hard being a girl sometimes.. The feelings, the emotions, the anxiety... AHHHHH!!
Being so far away from the one you love is so HARD! I miss him in everything I do... I see something funny, i wish he was here to see.. I eat something yummy, I wish he could taste it too... Sometimes I feel so alone... It seems to be a lot easier for the man and I can't figure out why..  Doesn't he wish I were there for those moments too? He is doing so much better and and that means he is going out and doing more things.. and while I'm happy he is happy and doing stuff... I can't help but wonder does he miss me? Does he wish I were there like I do him?...
I know i say this a lot but I just want to live MY happy life! and for me that means a life at peace with myself and my relationship... being in love and being surrounded by love everyday..  It's all I have ever wanted. I want to be with him and experience this life together. by each others side helping each other with what ever comes our way..  Sometimes I start freaking out because I just turned 30 and to me I feel like my life hasn't even begun yet and it's already half over! When will it ever be my turn to live a fulfilled happy life? I want it so bad...
I would move today if he wanted me to.. I just want to be happy and he makes me happy... and I want to spend the rest of my life making him as happy as he makes me...

Lonely in Salt Lake City with Georgia on my mind...

13 Days...

13 DAYS until Valentines Day! LOVE day... HEART DAY! DAY for LOVERS...  :) and 13 days until I get to see my PING!!  I'm so excited to have him here on Valentines Day!!!  It means so much to me to actually get to see his face and kiss his face on a holiday...  (you have no idea how much it means to me) Valentines Day has been a rough, sad day for me for a lot of years now and I just can't wait to have my person, My special somebody here to share it with me...

LoVe HiM sO mUcH...