Holding his hand...

I have been working on giving my Ping space and letting him come to me....

I hope I have been doing a good job...
It sure isn't easy... I reach for my phone all day...

I sure miss him..
I would give anything to be back in that picture holding his hand...

For just me...

My bed is too BIG for just ME....

and yes, that is my pings sweater I now sleep with every night... *sigh*

Feeling like a crazy...

Am I crazy? Am I really not that strong, confident girl I thought I was?... I just don't understand why I feel the way I do lately... All I can come up with is.. that I'm finding it hard to adjust to being back home and away from him. Am I turning into one of those needy, pathetic girls that I can't stand?.. Geez, I hope not! Am I wrong for wanting to see his face each day and be able to talk and laugh with him?.. Being so far away from each other... this is all we have...it's our way to connect and show our love... I mean seeing him is the highlight of everyday... It makes me feel so much better about everything.. I love to tell him about my day... all the dumb things and sometimes important things and I love hearing about his.. and lately I feel like i don't know what's going on with him other then he is busy...
I guess I just got used to the calls on the way home on Tuesdays and Thursdays and the txts saying "Get online" (my personal favorite) I know things change but is it wrong of me to miss that?.. I get like this because since those things aren't happening it makes me wonder why he doesn't want to see me now.. Like right now it's almost 11 pm there and it is taking everything I have in me not to text him and I'm wondering how it went and if I'm going to get to see his face tonight.. I used to never wonder about that and now I do... It's not a good feeling..

I guess I'm just worried everything is going to change...it already has... and I don't want that..
I just miss him and I love him...

I'm going to work on being less needy and try and give him more space.. (keyword TRY because I have tried all day to not contact him unless he contacts me and it has been a VERY hard day)

SO we will see how I do...

Her heart hurts...

Back to Utah.... means back to reality..

My heart has been heavy for 2 days now.. I miss him SO much.. I miss sleeping next to him, putting my face in his and breathing him in.. I miss everything!! I have never felt more content and happy as I did when I was with him this past week... I want that feeling always..

The laughs, the dance party by ourselves, the drives, the walks holding hands... I even loved cleaning and doing laundry while he was at work... I loved looking over at him working as I watched TV in bed... I loved it all and I want that feeling back cause the feeling I have now is an empty one... a heavy heart..I'm trying so hard to be strong and push through the sadness I feel being away from him... Its hard and it hurts worse then I ever imagined... the tears haven't stopped in 2 days... I just want to be happy and make him happy everyday of our lives.. I know we have a long road ahead of us still but it will all be worth it in the end...

I had the best time and can't wait until next time I get to see my ping again...
She sure loves him!!! SO much!

"See this arm, it's a really good arm, she loves it!" :)

Missing you every second of every day...