10 days...

It's been a week since I left my Ping... I got to spend 10 days with him this month and be there to celebrate his Birthday with him. It was lovely like always... to see his face and feel his arms around me, being in the "cocoon" and having him tell me stories.. He is amazing and I can't get enough of him!

It was cute to see his reaction to his gifts and I hope he loved them.. He looked so handsome in all his new stuff. ;)

It's always so hard to leave him.. I feel so empty inside on the plane ride home and it's hard to not break down and cry... I have been trying to be strong.. I just miss him every second of everyday and I cannot wait for the day when I will be able to be with him always..
Like I always say... I just want my happy life to begin..

I miss everything about you my Ping... Love you...

She isn't as strong as she may appear...

I can't tell you how it really is... all I can tell you is what it feels like and right now...

My heart hurts... It feels like someone is squeezing the life out of me.. I can't catch my breath...
I haven't spoken to him since Friday morning and not real sure when I'll see him or talk to him again.. He says Tuesday but that is such a busy day for him I'm sure it wont be till the night and by then it will have been 5 whole days without seeing his face or hearing his voice... Maybe I'm a baby.. but this has been both heartbreaking and so hard on me.. I carry my phone around and check it all day and for what?... he isnt calling or txting.. I need to just put it down... but what if??... :(

See, in my head I feel we are apart all the time... everyday... I miss him everyday already so this has just killed me.. and i wonder... Does he even miss me?... or is this just easy for him?..
I feel I have been and still am so understanding of him and am here for him whenever he needs me... What about me tho?.. I can't always be the strong one.. I need someone to catch me too..
I feel so alone right now..

All I want is for him to want me and miss me the way I want and miss him!!! I want him to WANT to be near me not want to take more time away from me when already we are apart for most of time.. I just want him to want me like I want him...

Does he know how much I love him? Does he know how painful this has been for me?
My heart literally aches...
Does he even miss me?.. I hate feeling like I'm the only one..
I just want to be with him and have him hold me in his arms and tell me its all been worth it... I want so bad to feel like I have someone... the way I have been the rock for him.. I'm trying so hard to stay strong and get through these days... but then what?.. are things going to be weird between us?.. we haven't spoken in 5 days.. but there is nothing I can do... all I can do is wait for him to want to talk to me and see me again...

She is beyond sad...

You know my heart is by your side...

This song pretty much sums it up... the way I feel... I listen to this over and over and over again...
I just miss him so much...

If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call?
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all?

I never know what the future brings
But I know you're here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don't know why your so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I'm praying you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
You know my heart is by your side

I don’t wanna run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

Love me..

Pick me...

Choose me...


LOVE ME...