All the colors fade when you're gone...

Will you be mine?...

These flowers made it packed in his suitcase on the plane... :)

The only thing I wanted! A LOVE letter... (He did good! It made me cry) :)

Loves... :)

I couldn't have asked for a better Valentines day then the one I had this year...  I got to see his face and be surrounded by his love and in his arms...  There is nothing I wanted more.. I even got a Love letter from him that was so sweet and so us..  His words mean everything to me and I have read it everyday since he left..
This trip was a different one in the fact that we had my kids and went to work and actually lived a "normal everyday life" It was nice.. We got to see each other in a different light and I loved every min. He was so sweet with my kids.. Playing with them, getting on their level and he even snuggled them in bed with me while we watched tv..  All that was missing was his kids..  I hope to one day have the chance to be around his kids like that.. 
There was a moment on his last night here where he was working in the kitchen at the table and I was cleaning and doing laundry, kids playing upstairs..  and the feeling that came over me was so peaceful and so content and so incredibly happy! I have longed for that feeling for SOOO long and I can't tell you how good it felt..  He was listening to music while he worked and at one point when I walked back he grabbed me and starting dancing with me... it was so romantical and so special...We laughed and kissed and then went right back to work... It is a moment I will never forget.. All that I kept thinking was... IS THIS WHAT IT'S LIKE??  Is this what a happy couple and good relationship feels like??  I never want the feeling to end... It's amazing to be so completely comfortable with another person that anything they do even if its annoying or whatever it may be you still LOVE and adore them so much. I have such a desire to make him happy and be all that he needs..  He is such a good man with such a tender heart.. He knows how to communicate with me and knows what I need to hear at certain times and takes the time to really listen and understand what I'm feeling..  I have never had that and it means more then he will ever know...

He is gone now and oh how I miss him!!  I'm at ease in his arms... and now most of my days are spent alone and it's so hard on me having a little piece of heaven and then having it be gone... Home is where your heart is and my heart is with him... so I feel like a part of me is missing and the memories around every corner are haunting at times.. His cup he had on the night stand is still there, the towel he left on the bathroom floor,  the spot on the table is still cleared where he worked, I'm still sleeping in our sheets, the flowers he brought me are now dead in their vase and i can't bring myself to throw them away...  I love him so much...

All the colors seem to fade when you're gone...