I'm going to explode...

I'm going to explode if I don't talk or write... So I will write...

I'm feeling so many things... I'm sad.. I'm anxious...I miss him.. I want him to miss me too!!
I got to see him and really talk to him once this last week... Thursday morning... and then this weekend happened.. So with all that I just want to be reassured and have him WANT to see me and tell me he missed me too.. I think i deserve at least a couple minutes..

I want you to know that a part of me was really destroyed this weekend..I don't think you will you ever fully understand what it feels like to have the person you love to be in a situation like that... I don't know if you talk and what you say...I don't know if you sit by each other...it just sucks.. I feel like she got 2 whole days with you.. when I can barely get a min with you in a weeks time.. It hurts my feelings.. and I couldn't even talk to you about it because you were being so short with me and didn't want to discuss it..
I'm the one who is here for you and was there for you during your darkest hours and I'm the one who is putting my whole heart and soul into this, trying to be so understanding in everything you do..

I'm turning 30 in 3 days and I'm so depressed.. with no one to talk to and all I want is you.. I want you for my birthday...
I just want so bad for things to be in my favor for once.. Just reassure me from time to time and especially when something like this weekend happens... Okay?.. I'm just a girl sometimes...
I'm just a girl who has found my everything in you... and I'm scared to lose it...
You fit me perfectly in every way...
You have my heart and I love you...