I try so hard...

I don't know what else to do... so I'll write.. I have to get these feelings out somehow.. I know he thinks I'm an insecure person..it's not that I just miss him! Talking to him is the highlight of my day.. I miss him everyday and when we aren't together talking is all we have.. I'm not trying to be needy, or take up all his time..
I feel I'm a good person. I feel I have a lot to offer...  I'm fun, exciting, loud, funny, caring, loving, understanding, I genuinely care what others are feeling and try and help, I put others first, I'm thoughtful, I always try and think of ways I can surprise him or what I can do to help him in any way I can, I'm creative, I'm honest, I'm loyal, I will be there til the end for the people I care most about.. I think I am and will be an amazing partner/wife one day..  I hope he sees and recognizes these same qualities in me too.. I hope he sees how hard I try and how patient I have been through this whole process, I have been there with open arms when he needs me and I have been there with open arms even when he doesn't need me.. I try to put his needs and wants before my own.. I try so hard everyday! I hope I have shown him who i am and I hope my good qualities out weigh my bad...

Does he know how much I miss him? I feel like we are apart everyday of our lives We are apart everyday of our lives.. so more time away is soooooo hard on me! We are apart everyday! I don't want more time away from him.. I already have it everyday! I want to share my life with him and experience new things with him and tell him things.. I want to share my life with him.... and I want him to feel the same way. I want to feel like I'm missed and that how I feel matters and that he will understand that I'm not coming from a place of being mean or demanding or trying to put you down or anything...I think your amazing!  It's truly out of love and my desire to be with you and how much I miss you that gets me down..
More then anything I want to feel like I'm missed..
I understand more then he thinks about his desire for time away from me.. I get it.. He is and has gone through one of the hardest times in his life.. He is amazingly strong with how well he has dealt with it. I admire everything about him.. Does he see that? does he know? He always tells me be patient, be understanding.. I am, I do! but I guess all I can do is try harder and do better to be all that he needs and wants...  He asked me if I understand that this is scary for him.. Of course I realize that! Does he realize how scary this is for me too?  I'm scared too! but I feel like what we have is one of kind and so special, so rare, so real and so exciting that I try not to focus on that fear.. I love him more then I have ever loved anyone and I choose to show him and tell and make him feel loved for as long as he will let me.. All I want is for him to happy and I hope I make him happy.... I want him to feel special and know how much I care.. and I want to feel that way in return.. All I have ever wanted is to be loved and adored and missed and cared for.. It doesn't take a whole lot to make me happy.. I feel I'm pretty easy to please.. The little things mean the very most to me... .. I'm not asking for ALL his time or anything else.. I hope he knows that! Now I'm just rambling so I'll stop.. bottom line.. I love him so much! I miss him so much! and I will try harder to give him more space and time and be more understanding and patient..  and I will be here like I always am with open arms when he feels like he wants to see me and talk to me again.. I hope with all my heart that one day I will get everything right and he won't want to take these breaks from me...