I catch myself...

I catch myself looking at the Calendar every couple minutes.. I guess just hoping the it's closer to the day I get to go see my Ping... It's sad and kind of pathetic but I'm dying this time and feeling such a sense of urgency to get out there..

I want that feeling of being completely content back... There isn't a care in the world or nothing we couldn't get through.. That's how I feel when I am with him. Complete.
For the first time in my life I feel completely safe, content, happy, in-love more then i thought possible, and complete. I want to be in his arms and be that soft place for him to fall right now.

We have been through so much together already and still are and all I can do is hope and pray that we will make it through.. I know we can but sometimes I wonder what he thinks.. Just when I think we are finally getting over some obstacles.. We are right back in them.. Like tonight they are going to have another "talk"... I can't help but think what more is there to say?.. It only makes things worse and leaves him feeling in a bad mood and worse off then he felt before.. When is enough enough?.. I just hate to see him down and feeling like that..

I have been worrying about him all day and just want the day to hurry and pass so I can talk to him and see his face and find out how it went and if everything is okay..

Just checked my Calendar again... yup, it's still the same day.. :(
I can't get out of here quick enough...