More then anything...

My heart is so heavy today... I didn't see him last night and so I know deep down it's going to be a long day of wondering...

With everything that is going on with him...I know he doesn't need another burden and that's exactly what I became for him last night... I didn't mean to. I have been reading way too far into him needing alone time and for that I will forever be sorry... I guess I was just comparing past experiences and I know I can't do that... Each day is different and I need to be grateful for the time I do get with him..

I want to be his best friend, the person he can't wait to talk to each day...
I want to be the one he can come to with his problems...
I want to be the one who makes him happy when his whole day has gone bad...
I hope I STILL am these things for him and that in our first misunderstanding he still feels the same about me...

I don't want things to change to or be different now... That is what is killing me today! I want him to be how he always is with me... As long as I know he still wants to see/talk to me I will be fine... he can do whatever he needs to do alone as long as I know he will always come back and that he wants to! More then anything all I want is to know our time together is as special to him as it is to me....
I felt more alone then I have for awhile last night as I laid there without him and I never want to feel that again...
I just want the opportunity to show him all of me in a normal circumstance and I want to be able to experience how he is... I hope he still wants the same too...

I promise to try harder and be that strong person I know I am and can be for my ping...
I know he needs that more then anything...
I love you ping and I'm sorry...