The test...

Today I tested myself... You might be asking tested yourself how?...
I wanted to see if I could go the whole day without contacting him.... Why you might ask?.. Well lots of reasons.. I wanted to see if I could do it and how hard it would be.. I wanted to give him the space I think he wants right now... and who knows he might miss me in all this... (I hope) ;)

I think I did pretty good... Given it's only 9:19 pm (my time) but it's 11:19 pm (his time) I have been surprisingly in a decent mood today too.. Although I miss him so much and am just hoping and praying that I will get to see and talk to him at least for a bit tonight....

I am trying to give him space...
I'm trying to put my feelings aside...
I'm trying to let go in a way... Not of him (I could never let go of him) but of my feelings...
Trying to put his needs first and hope somewhere along the way when he is ready my needs will be met too... and I don't mean that in any kind of way... I understand the situation we are in.. I'm just trying to think more clearly so I don't have melt downs on a daily and stress him out way more...

So ya, I'm trying and I'm pretty proud of myself.. I made it through the first day without contacting him... Only responding if he contacted me..
Didn't think I could do it... Why you might ask?...
Because I think of him and miss his face all day long...
*sigh*

SHE JUST LOVES HIM...

Wish me luck tomorrow... I might cave and txt him but hey I'm only human and I'm a girl! ;)